The cupcake party snob (gross)

This is hard for me to talk about, so I’m just going to get it out, as quickly as possible. At least it's sort of a fairy tale ending?

Thursday night I was at a dinner party. I’m fancy, I know. Things were going great. I was drinking some wine, eating some food as it came around, and meeting new people. (I love little things, and meeting new people.)

So I was standing with my new friend, Rolando. And I’m not making this up—his name is really Rolando. I’m leaving his real name because he deserves it. If you’ve been reading this blog, you’ll soon find out why he is a super, super nice guy. He is so super nice, he might as well get some blog time, even if he doesn’t know this blog exists.

So again, I’m standing with Rolando. We're talking about really cool things, like the Saturn V and maple trees.  Cupcakes are put on the food table. Lots of invitees, ready for dessert, grab a cupcake. Rolando is one of these people. I am not. I think I even made a frownie face. Seriously—who on earth makes a frownie face at cupcakes?

I do. How embarrassing. I see these cupcakes on the table and one image pops into my head. I see Kim and Jake’s chocolate cupcakes, with white icing and red sprinkles. These were not those cupcakes. I immediately wanted to go home.

And then there was Rolando.

While I was busy getting mad, Rolando was eating his cupcake. And as we’ve already learned: the cupcake in Rolando’s hand is for Rolando’s consumption only. But it turns out that I’m standing next to the nicest dude at the party. Because what does he do? He offers me a bite of his cupcake.

Rolando. That guy. Extends the cupcake out of his cupcake-eating sphere of safety and asks me if I want a bite.

I’m shocked. In one tiny wee instant, I go from being angry to feeling happy goodness. I think of the cupcake Venn diagram. He’s outside of the circles. He’s in a new circle. Hell, he might be in an entirely new Venn diagram. Cupcakes are amazing little guys. Rolando is even better.

This has made my night.  I don’t take a bite.  I walk over to the food table and take a piece of pie.