The cupcake party snob (gross)

This is hard for me to talk about, so I’m just going to get it out, as quickly as possible. At least it's sort of a fairy tale ending?

Thursday night I was at a dinner party. I’m fancy, I know. Things were going great. I was drinking some wine, eating some food as it came around, and meeting new people. (I love little things, and meeting new people.)

So I was standing with my new friend, Rolando. And I’m not making this up—his name is really Rolando. I’m leaving his real name because he deserves it. If you’ve been reading this blog, you’ll soon find out why he is a super, super nice guy. He is so super nice, he might as well get some blog time, even if he doesn’t know this blog exists.

So again, I’m standing with Rolando. We're talking about really cool things, like the Saturn V and maple trees.  Cupcakes are put on the food table. Lots of invitees, ready for dessert, grab a cupcake. Rolando is one of these people. I am not. I think I even made a frownie face. Seriously—who on earth makes a frownie face at cupcakes?

I do. How embarrassing. I see these cupcakes on the table and one image pops into my head. I see Kim and Jake’s chocolate cupcakes, with white icing and red sprinkles. These were not those cupcakes. I immediately wanted to go home.

And then there was Rolando.

While I was busy getting mad, Rolando was eating his cupcake. And as we’ve already learned: the cupcake in Rolando’s hand is for Rolando’s consumption only. But it turns out that I’m standing next to the nicest dude at the party. Because what does he do? He offers me a bite of his cupcake.

Rolando. That guy. Extends the cupcake out of his cupcake-eating sphere of safety and asks me if I want a bite.

I’m shocked. In one tiny wee instant, I go from being angry to feeling happy goodness. I think of the cupcake Venn diagram. He’s outside of the circles. He’s in a new circle. Hell, he might be in an entirely new Venn diagram. Cupcakes are amazing little guys. Rolando is even better.

This has made my night.  I don’t take a bite.  I walk over to the food table and take a piece of pie.

Boulder Cupcakes

It’s snowing. I want a cupcake.  These would be pretty in the snow.

I’m watching the food network and learning about goat milk. I don’t care. I want a cupcake.  These would be pretty in the snow, too. 

There are a couple of good things about cupcakes, and they happen to be mutually exclusive. Venn diagram it: Good things about cupcakes. You’d have separate circles.

The first circle: You can be selfish with your cupcake. A cupcake is a wee tiny cake. It’s for one person only. There is no requirement to share. You have more pressure to share a cookie. If you share your cupcake, you’re super nice. But no one expects you to share. It’s a good thing. Your cupcake. Your own cupcake.

The second circle: Sharing cupcakes is one of the happiest things ever! Have you ever ordered a bunch of Kim and Jake’s cupcakes and taken them to a party? If not, put it on your “to do” list. Preferably your “to do soon” list. Because handing out cupcakes feels great. It creates a happy heart. Imagine yourself, passing out a tiny bit of goodness, to each one of your friends (and you have a lot of friends). You love them and want them to have a cupcake. They love you because you have just given them a cupcake.

Here's where it gets complicated.  Once you transfer a cupcake from your hand to the hand of your friend, the cupcake moves from “circle two” to “circle one” of the Venn diagram. All of a sudden your friend has this wonderful, for-my-consumption-only cupcake and feels no pressure to share. Your friend doesn't have to protect it. He most certainly doesn't have to eat it all in one bite. Are these good things, you ask?

Yes, these are good things.  Sized for one.  No guarding necessary. The option of one bite or many bites.  These things create the perfect food gift.  You have given the perfect food gift.  Just be careful...make sure you save one for yourself!

So there is the cupcake Venn diagram. Right now, I’d like to share 4 cupcakes with myself. Overlapping circles, indeed. But it’s snowing. And 4 cupcakes might just help me make it through the night.

Kim and Jake's Cakes and…a little duck!

We’ve got 1.5 issues to discuss right now. First, we’ve got the fact that Kim can make super cool objects out of food. That’s neat. It is so neat that an entire blog entry will be devoted to that in the near future. (This, as you can see, is the .5.) Second, we’ve got the fact that…KIM HAS MADE THE CUTEST FOOD DUCK BABY IN THE WORLD.


Don’t believe me? Well here it is. I can barely look at it without yelling. An excited yell, of course. A yell that sounds like, “Ah! That is the cutest baby ever!” More like a squeal.  But a squeal sounds like something a pig does. And what a pig does is not cute enough to describe the marzipan baby duck.  But still, it's the "cutest baby ever noise."  It’s just that in this case, it’s not a human baby. And it is actually not even alive. It’s just a little marzipan baby duck, living life in the same place on a table cloth.

Most of you reading this blog don’t know me. And I’m fine with that. But you’re going to learn something about me real quick, and it starts here, with the marzipan baby duck. I love little things. Wee tiny baby precious things. And this duck is freakin’ cute. If I could put it on a necklace just so I could look at it all day, I would. I’d even glue it to a headband so everyone around me could get a better look. Because I love this wee tiny marzipan baby duck. And I guarantee if people see this attached to a headband, cruisin’ down the street, it would make their day. I mean make their day. Hands down. No doubt.


By the way…in case you’ve forgotten who adorable this little guy is, here he is again. And I made him bigger.

And good news. Always…we always have good news. You can get a marzipan baby duck, too. Your own baby duck! Because Kim can make you one. And she can put it on a cake or a cupcake. Can. You. Imagine. A wee tiny precious marzipan baby duck on a wee tiny precious cupcake? No photo of that yet (probably for the better).


Soon, I’m going to ask Kim and Jake to make me a cake with blue icing and a wee tiny precious baby hippo on top. It will be like the little guy has his own pool! I think I will ask for two wee tiny precious baby hippos, because how sad to see just one lonely baby hippo, in a pool without a buddy?

How to bake and ice a cake...shop

There are now, officially, t-minus an undisclosed number of days until the cake shop opens its doors for the first time. You might go as far as to call it the birth of Kim and Jake’s Cake shop. So welcome to the world, cake shop. The good news? There is no placenta. The better news? There isbamazingly yummy cake. Arguably cuter than a baby, and definitely much tastier.

Please do...keep checking back in here for the official countdown for the official opening of Kim and Jake's Cakes which will he happening officially in an undisclosed number of days.  Official was used three times because really--it is that official.  Were you hoping for the fourth "official?" Well take it easy.  First, you can still get your cakes from http://www.kimandjakescakes.com/.  Second, the day is closer than you think. Third, if you can't sleep at night, at least you can read this blog while eating Kim and Jake's cakes.  And Fourth, just read on. 

You might be wondering HOW on EARTH does a cake shop come into this world. And especially a perfect little cake shop with all ten fingers and all ten toes? Well fear not, because now is the time to learn about the cake shop: from conception to birth. This blog will focus on the final few weeks before birth.

A given element to the birth of a cake shop is, of course, cake. This isn’t the time to blog about the cake itself. But here is a pretty, pretty cake made for a 50th birthday at the Boulderado. You people already know it tastes as good as it looks. ‘nuff said.

Let’s go ahead and break it down.  Let's create a numbered list, for the sake of organization, to see some other elements used to bake and ice a cake shop.

1. Flooring

If you want customers to walk into the shop, you must have a floor. Kim and Jake’s Cakes takes the mullet approach: business in the front, party in the back. For ya’ll customers, you’ll get to treat your feet to hardwoods up front. The cake-makers Kim and Jake get to party-it-up in the back on three different colors of VCT tiles. A little bedazzled-flooring makes happy cake makers…and really, you wouldn’t want it any other way.

2. Kitchen Stuff

You’re probably dreading the day when your young child looks up to you and asks, “Daddy, where do cakes come from?” No worries here—just show them these photos. You put together some sinks, ovens, freezers, and fridges and boom! Out pops a cake.  We'll even leave the large version of the photo, so the kids can see it better.

3. Display Case

Show us what you’ve got. Here’s where that happens. This little guy will be full of yummy cupcakes, accidentally making your ability to select which cupcake you want two thousand times more difficult. Don’t worry, it is okay to leave with four (or thirty) cupcakes instead of one. It happens to the best of us. That’s why Kim and Jake’s Cakes has to-go boxes.


4. Paint, Paint, Paint

Make it pretty! Just like a cake, you gotta ice the store, too. Check out the beautiful red. It looks so good, you’d think you can eat it. And guess what? Kim and Jake really splurged with the red paint, by buying an edible gallon of the stuff. Don’t believe me? Ask them to point you in the direction of the lickable corner when you come in for your cake. It's on the red wall. Trust me, you'll see it.

5. Family and Friends

It’s rare for a cake shop to be born without the love of family and friends. And when it comes down to it, baking and icing a cake shop is just more fun with more people. Plain and simple. It’s just a well-known proven fact. And the proof is in the icing, right?

Nate, the pastry chef at The Kitchen, helped paint the shop. Pretty sure he added in some secret ingredients of his own. All pastry chefs do, you know?

At Kim and Jakes Cakes, all are welcome to participate, even those lacking “food skills.” Other skills can transfer directly to the cake-shop-creating business. Here, former cyclist Michael Cody spends a day painting. Holding handlebars is very similar to holding a roller. Transferred skills. It’s that simple.

And there you have it...the baking and icing of a cake shop.  We hope you learned a lot...and we hope you laughed a little..and we hope you are totally excited to enjoy the cake shop with your family and friends!